Almost no one hesitates because they doubt their qualifications. They hesitate because they are not sure they could sit with a grieving family, and then lead their farewell, without coming apart.
As I prepare for my first service just a few weeks after the course, I feel compelled to say thank you. It gave me the tools and the confidence to meet with a grieving family and craft a personalized, meaningful tribute for a life well lived.
Sherri FitchThat fear is the right instinct
People who are casual about this work tend not to be good at it. Being daunted means you have understood what is being asked, and that is the correct starting position.
Every celebrant we have trained felt it before their first service. Many still feel a version of it years later. It does not go away entirely, and it should not.
What takes the weight off
The most useful thing we teach is simple. It is not about you.
You are not there to be impressive, to be moving, or to be the one who said the perfect thing. You are there to facilitate the family’s grief and guide the celebration. Once that lands, most of the fear goes with it. The pressure you were imagining was pressure to perform, and you were never there to perform.
Not a counsellor. Not there to promote a doctrine. Not there to promote themselves. Knowing where the role ends is what makes it possible to carry.
You will not be thrown in
The course is built so that the first time you do any of this, you are doing it from your own home, over Zoom, with ten people who are as nervous as you are.
- You practise an intake before you ever sit with a real family
- You write a eulogy from what you heard, and deliver it on day two
- You get honest feedback from facilitators who lead services every week
- You work through difficult family dynamics before you meet them for real
No one finishes this course without having stood up and done it once.
I did my first funeral yesterday. It went so well and I felt very prepared, thanks to both of you. I just wanted to thank you for setting me off on this path.
DebbieAnd afterwards
The support does not stop at certification. That is where it starts. Members keep access to the facilitators, the resources and the community. Most new celebrants call someone before their first service, and the network is there for exactly that.